You Found This Before Everyone Else.
Welcome to The First Wave. This is the part that happens before the book does.
On February 9th, 2027, my memoir will be published by Penguin Random House. I’m excited to share that the title is, ‘If I Had Known Then: A Memoir of Sexual Assault, Hope and My Battle to Re-Imagine Justice’
It's the story of my sexual assault, the three years I spent fighting a criminal legal system that re-traumatized me at every turn, and how I became one of the first sexual assault survivors in North America to experience a Restorative Justice outcome through the courts. It's also a book about what justice, healing and humanity can look like if we are courageous enough to imagine it differently. The First Wave is more than a pre-order waitlist. It's a group of people who choose to be part of this before it's public - and who receive two things that don't exist anywhere else.
What First Wave members receive
1. An exclusive audio recording: This recording doesn't exist anywhere else. It's not an interview. It's not a curated reel. It's what I needed to say before this book left my hands and I wanted the people who showed up first to be the ones who hear it. I wrote three letters and read them out loud:
1.To the twenty-one-year-old version of me, sitting in a hospital room at 6am, about to make a decision that would shape the next three years of her life , not knowing there was another path. 2. To every survivor I’ve connected with over the past 10 years. 3. To you. The person about to open this book. You'll receive it the moment you join.
2. A private virtual conversation with me - before launch.
In January 2027, I'm hosting a 60-minute video call exclusively for First Wave members who have pre-ordered. Ask me anything. Hear what didn't survive the editing process. Be in the room - before the rest of the world is. This is the only event like this I'm doing.
Why This Matters:
When I escaped the scene of my assault, a nurse gave me two options: report the crime or just go home. No one told me there was another path. No one told me a different kind of justice was possible.
In North America, it’s estimated that less than 6% of assaults are reported. Less than 1% of survivors experience meaningful accountability in the aftermath of trauma. Further, rates of SA have not declined in over 20 years. Changing this reality is what lives at the heart of this book. But, it’s also about more than that. It’s about a collective re-imagining of justice. It’s about seeing the world through a nuanced and empathetic lens that boldly refuses dehumanization. It’s about disrupting patriarchy and remembering our right to live beautiful lives beyond restrictive binaries and divisive systems. If you are dreaming of a world that prioritizes healing over punishment, If you need to feel hope again, If you or a loved one have been impacted by violence - this book was written for you.
Being part of The First Wave is more than early access to a memoir - it’s about being a part of a wider movement for justice and co-creating momentum to ensure this story reaches those who need to hear it.
If We Haven’t Met Before, Hi!
I'm Marlee - an award-winning speaker, somatic educator, Registered Social Worker, advocate and lesbian sparkle-loving feminist based in Toronto.
I'm the founder of Survivors 4 Justice Reform, a global coalition of 900+ survivors advocating for humane pathways to justice. Over the past decade my work has reached 100,000+ people across trauma healing, violence prevention, restorative justice, and courageous self-advocacy.
My story has been featured in Forbes, HuffPost, CBC, and on the Mel Robbins Show. I've spoken at the National Sexual Assault Conference, Vanderbilt, Yale, and the University of Toronto. My case is included in law school curricula across the country, and I'm the subject of the documentary The Limits of Forgiveness, directed by Kelsey Darragh.
If I Had Known Then is my first memoir. It is published by Penguin Random House Canada, February 2027.
Join the First Wave:
Scroll up to the top of the page: Enter your name and email below. You'll receive your audio recording of the three letters right away, and I'll be in touch with everything you need to know about the January event and pre-orders when the time comes.
One more thing: pre-orders are the single most important factor in whether a book reaches the people it was written for. If this story resonates with you, pre-ordering when the time comes is the most concrete way to help it make an impact.